tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post2779072936705185285..comments2008-05-19T20:00:44.444-07:00Comments on The Annex: Book Tour: Waiting For Daisy by Peggy OrensteinLollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-52435231704926594602007-06-05T18:18:00.000-07:002007-06-05T18:18:00.000-07:00I do think there are losses that are things we've ...I do think there are losses that are things we've never had but are not longings. There's the loss of the not 'falling pregnant'. There's the loss of privacy and the losses with whatever diagnosis you might get (if you even get a diagnosis). And for some of us there's the loss of the genetic connection and the loss of creating a child that's part of my partner and part of me. I do think those are real losses, not just longings.milliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09710325487325258355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-74905165234953606272007-06-05T13:34:00.000-07:002007-06-05T13:34:00.000-07:00I became a mom through adoption. I can't tell you...I became a mom through adoption. I can't tell you how many times I've heard: "Now watch. You're sure to get pregnant now." Ummmmm, no, I won't. Thanks for your infinite expertise on my body, though.<BR/><BR/>Aaaargh. I was a little put off by the happy ending. But so enjoyed the rest of it.<BR/><BR/>Love the clown story. Useful in a variety of ways.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-26876509252014772232007-06-05T06:21:00.000-07:002007-06-05T06:21:00.000-07:00Very interesting. I was struggling with my own irr...Very interesting. I was struggling with my own irritation with the ending, but your interpretation of the "deadpan punchline" does ease my mind. <BR/><BR/>What makes me want to scream, though, is not the people who don't get the joke, but the people who do hold up their own or another's success as a promise or guarantee. And so many people do this, even after personally experiencing infertility. Thus they contribute to that mythology/narrative of how IF works and is resolved.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-90742380453053681352007-06-04T20:09:00.000-07:002007-06-04T20:09:00.000-07:00I also don't feel as though the way Peggy came to ...I also don't feel as though the way Peggy came to get pregnant puts more pressure on our non-treatment cycles. I feel like with infertility problems there is a sliding scale of chance to get pregnant with a chromosomally normal embryo, stay pregnant with a healthy fetus, and finally deliver a viable child. For some people there is 0 chance. Normally fertile people have the maximum chance. Clearly Peggy had some chance on her own, although it may have been low, it was there. And she got pregnant as a matter of finally getting lucky.Jackiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15937097841962960849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-66512807143607183002007-06-04T18:04:00.000-07:002007-06-04T18:04:00.000-07:00I don't even know how to comment to your very wise...I don't even know how to comment to your very wise thoughts. :) <BR/><BR/>I like what you had to say about not really being able to help someone going through IF but to let them know they aren't alone. I do think though we can help those who are just beginning to answer their questions and help them learn along the way. Sometimes you feel so overwhelmed by emotions that you are too afraid to ask for answers. When you have walked that road you know what to ask and how to help guide.<BR/><BR/>Once again, GREAT thoughts!Sunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14570018200281339937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-47883126236090755502007-06-04T13:04:00.000-07:002007-06-04T13:04:00.000-07:00For me one of the difficult things about this book...For me one of the difficult things about this book was how very much I ended up disliking the narrator. You mention she isn't afraid to cast herself in an unflattering light and that is certainly true. From her IVF cycles that didn't begin to address the problem of her miscarriages to her "go on vacation and get pregnant" solution she irritated me. Sigh.Staciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04505622963819102492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-33777475008617302502007-06-04T11:45:00.000-07:002007-06-04T11:45:00.000-07:00"Fuck you clown"That one is going to stick with me..."Fuck you clown"<BR/><BR/>That one is going to stick with me.<BR/><BR/>I love what you say about longing vs. loss. They are very different things.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-26225791777758405812007-06-04T11:21:00.000-07:002007-06-04T11:21:00.000-07:00It's so true--the emotions are similar, though you...It's so true--the emotions are similar, though you can never hold up someone else's positive as a promise for your own happy ending. Everyone has a different journey.<BR/><BR/>The difference with the life-long vegetarian is that I don't miss meat because I don't need meat. I don't care about it. It doesn't cross my mind on most days except when we're planning a vacation to somewhere that only had fish restaurants :-) But having a child is a need for some. And that need is very much known--you can observe the benefits and drawbacks to parenthood all around you. You know what you're missing. Isn't that more than longing?<BR/><BR/>Um...and I love you.<BR/><BR/>And I'll see you at home tonight.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-49920558054784736052007-06-04T07:31:00.000-07:002007-06-04T07:31:00.000-07:00Thanks for your insights. Lots of good food for th...Thanks for your insights. Lots of good food for thought.Pamela T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11474998003921896431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38589683.post-55104177281835662582007-06-04T04:38:00.000-07:002007-06-04T04:38:00.000-07:00"I think it is sort of a deadpan punchline to a lo..."I think it is sort of a deadpan punchline to a long joke."<BR/><BR/>I love this line. And the people who swarm around to say, "See, I *told* you to relax!" just aren't getting the joke.<BR/><BR/>BeaBeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.com