Lyrics for Aunt Jane Knows More Than My RE

My Aunt Jane Knows More Than My RE

Spoken: I don’t really have an Aunt Jane, but I thought that it was easier to assign all this assvice to a fictional character rather than to the real people who said these things to me.

Lying on that table
my feet in cold stirrups
I think about advice that Aunt Jane passes my way
She graduated Google med school
The rest comes from Grey’s Anatomy
But my Aunt Jane knows more than my RE

If I’d just go on vacation
Somewhere warm like Jamaica
I’d produce embryos that live for more than eight weeks
But our vacation money
Went towards drugs I inject into me
Still my Aunt Jane knows more than my RE

If I’d just stop trying so hard
If I’d just stop trying so hard
If I’d just stop trying so hard
I’d get pregnant

She says that I’m lucky
That I don’t have a baby
Trips with my husband and nights out with my friends
I can spend my money on Prada
Instead of diapers and binkies
That’s how Aunt Jane knows more than my RE

She asks if my husband
Really knows what he’s doing
Does he need a real man to finish up the job for him?
And do I prop up my hips
After he’s gone and done the deed?
More ideas from my Aunt Jane, my new RE

If I’d just stop trying so hard
If I’d just stop trying so hard
If I’d just stop trying so hard
I’d get pregnant

And have I thought of adoption?
Then I’m sure to get pregnant
It happened to a friend of a friend who now has two kids
Just trick my body with the paperwork
I don’t even have to bring home the baby
That Aunt Jane is smarter than my RE

But she just knows we’ll have children
Feels it deep in her bones
She tells me this will all be worth it in the end
And then I’ll be invited
Into the sisterhood of mommies
And become smarter than my RE

If I’d just stop trying so hard
If I’d just stop trying so hard
If I’d just stop trying so hard
I'd get pregnant

© 2007 Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters